Happy New Year everyone! I’m back, and feeling a little less foggy…although I did manage to melt into a booth from exhaustion, half asleep, at a pizza joint last night…we’ll talk more about that soon! I wanted to start off the year by sharing the story of why I chose to blog, and yes, why I am still here, and not giving up on it!
Here’s a long one, but I felt I needed to share. The night before the Great American Eclipse of 2017, I felt nuts. A friend posted on Facebook asking if anyone else felt crazy too, and I was so glad she did! From all the comments, it really let me know that I was not alone. So how exactly did I feel crazy?
I felt sick to my stomach (bahaha turns out I’m pregs) and had the shakes all night long. And…I had the very distinct impression to “start a blog and share the gospel.” Ok that might sound crazy to some, but to me the impression itself wasn’t the crazy part…it was the fact that I actually followed through with it instead of just ignoring the prompting! Here’s what I posted on Facebook and Instagram the day I launched the blog:
“Guys! It’s 3am and I sent part of this to one of our cousins because I’m kind of freaking out haha I jumped off the proverbial cliff and in spite of all my anxiety, I decided to start a mommy blog 🙈 only thing is I don’t know much about how to efficiently use social media! For the past couple of months all of my church meetings have included something on talents, and using them for our time and circumstances to share goodness. I’ve been thinking long and hard about what those talents are (and sometimes feeling like I don’t have any) and what it is the Lord wants me to contribute because church in Hawaii and here included the same message. I’ve decided I have a phone and a voice and the sometimes obnoxious ability (talent?) for over-talking about my experiences, and finding the positive in everything. I figure it’s what I’ve been given and maybe I could uplift others by sharing what goodness I can…”
And then again on on my college alumni page a week later: “I have debated sharing this here since last week because I’m a chicken, but I figured it’s already public so why not share with the people I love? Haha so I am hitting send before I chicken out again! I did something terrifying last week and started a mommy blog! The past couple of months at church have included several talks and lessons on sharing our talents for our time. In thinking long and hard about what mine are -and at times feeling like maybe I didn’t have any- I received the distinct impression to start a blog and share the crazy, positive side of motherhood. I credit the eclipse because instead of calling it nuts and ignoring the prompting, I sat down and started writing! In talking with family and friends about this, they suggested that maybe my “openness” is my talent, and I am hoping that this will become a way for me to share the gospel. I am super nervous and excited for this experience, and hope it will eventually help connect others around the world!”
You guys, I have always loved reading mommy blogs. Long before I was ever a mother, I think even before I got married!! I enjoyed reading other people’s journeys and perspectives on motherhood. So when I launched my own, I was nervous, I didn’t feel confident, and I felt like I had no idea what or why I was doing it – aside from just following this overwhelming prompting from the Spirit. As I started reading other “mommy blogs” the reason for my personal mission became more apparent.
I started off by following tons of famous mommy blogs. Some I had read from before, and some I had not. I found myself becoming more and more discouraged as I read, and I ended up having to hit unsubscribe from most of them. The tone towards motherhood, marriage, and children has become increasingly negative. I will not pretend that motherhood isn’t extremely difficult, that it isn’t completely nuts at times, but I could not believe the countless articles on how children were jerks, or husbands clueless, even using profanity to describe kids!
I began to want to write more! Anything to counteract all of the negativity I was reading. Even if only one parent reads what I write, and takes away: “it’s ok to be struggling, you’re doing great!” This will all have been worth it.
The technology was intimidating and I found myself starting to doubt if I was really up to the daunting task. Right as I started to become discouraged, I read this article from Pacific LDS.org. Pacific LDS Women is a blog I have followed and admired since its inception. Several of my friends and acquaintances have guest posted for it, and I was inspired by the story of the blog’s beginning, and the impression Sister Lisati had to start it. Her confidence in the need to act on her impression further fueled my desire to write.
Heavenly Father knows me so well, and knows that I need a good push here and there, especially when something is out of my comfort zone. So with my shaky newfound pseudo-confidence, I didn’t delete my blog right away and just pretend it never happened. Instead, Heavenly Father spoke to me through conference. Twice a year we gather together in meeting houses, via the television or internet to watch General Conference.
During the October 2017 Women’s General Session, Sister Sharon Eubank shared in her talk “Turn on Your Light“: “We aren’t always going to fit in with the world, but being different in positive ways can be a lifeline to others who are struggling.” And then Al Fox Carraway posed the question on Twitter after conference, “if we don’t share our light, who will?” And I thought, that’s me, I have to share the light, and love, and goodness that I get to feel in my life every day!
So I write. Sometimes it’s in the bathroom while I’m hiding from my kids, or while I’m holding a sleeping baby, or feeding a hangry toddler, or sometimes it’s at 3am when everyone is asleep, and I should be too. But I do it for you, for the parents out there that need to know they’re not alone, that it’s ok to not be perfect, that I believe in you and know “you’ve got this!”
I can’t promise that I will always be eloquent, or have the most put together blog posts, I can’t even promise that they will always be edited very well, or even make the most sense. I CAN promise to share positive, uplifting thoughts when I have them, the crazy, real, unpolished side of parenthood and marriage, any products I’ve found that make our lives easier, my stories that have helped me learn, and anything that gives me inspiration.
So here’s to hoping I manage to share some light, and love, and goodness along with some crazy and realness along the way, because let’s be honest: PARENTHOOD IS NUTS! In many ways, I also hope that this encourages anyone reading to do the same. To share! Whether it be by commenting on my posts, or finding your own creative outlets. Let others know they’re not alone, and to spread the good, and the kind, and positive, and yes, the crazy! Here’s to a New Year, and some happy blogging!